oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
