making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
PS: I just woke up from my shower
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
