We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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