He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
