all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
