summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
