You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
