their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
