xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
