she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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