honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
