i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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