The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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