do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
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