You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
