you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
please come you make the beer taste better
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
