Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
