Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
