ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
