Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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