the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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