Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
