Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
