i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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