Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize