i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
