a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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