you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
