bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
