Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
