for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
