Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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