if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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