Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need a burrito and a hug.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize