btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
