went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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