we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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