recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize