Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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