yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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