I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
