Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize