Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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