Only a mothe r could love this liver
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
