she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
