i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
