Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
