If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
