You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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