do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
