when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You left your phone here
Wait...
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