I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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