It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
