like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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