What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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