Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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