They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
