I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
