If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
