Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
