Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Less talking, more tequila
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
