He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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