The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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