Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
