This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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