it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
