I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize