I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
