$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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