she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
