So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
